Opinions (of Mark Reynolds) are like A'Holes

I haven't met two people who are actually on the same page about what Mark Reynolds will do this year. You ask ten folks, you get ten different answers, which usually are some derivative of these:

• The Pissed off Fantasy Guy - "Reynolds? He sucks. I hate him. I drafted him on my fantasy team last year and he screwed me all the way to Sunday. Totally f'd me. Dude strikes out 1,000 times a year, can't even hit .200, can't play defense. He's a bum, and the O's were stupid for giving up David Hernandez to get him. Hernandez will probably win the f'ing Cy Young now that the Orioles traded him. And when he does, I'm gonna have him on my team. But no f'ing Mark Reynolds. Dude Sucks. Did I tell you he screwed me last year?"
• The Unreasonably Optimistic View - "Reynolds? Gonna hit 50. Mark my words, he's gonna hit 50 bombs in Camden Yards. He'll be better than ARod. They'll put him at #5 or #5, get him tons of fastballs to swing at, and BOOM! 50+ bombs... gonna be so sweet! You gonna eat that hot dog? No, SWEET! Pass 'er over! Who were we talking about? Reynolds? Hell yah, gonna hit 50 bombs..."
• Libertarian - "Just leave the guy alone, and he'll do what he do and that will be fine. Get the f&*& out of my face. Get off my property. Shut the hell up and leave. I am going to shove the f(*&$(* gun up your rear end and blow your rectum out if you ask me one more question about Mark Reynolds. You know why? Because I'm a f*(*&$ citizen, and I can, that's why! Same way Mark Reynolds can strike out 223 times in one year and there ain't s$&% that anyone can say to the man. Back the f#$@ off."
• Keynesian Theory - "They gotta totally re-work his swing, man. Seriously. The guy's got power, but they gotta work with him, get him to cut down on his K's, and stop trying to hit every pitch for a homer. You know he owns the leage record for K's? Can't let him do that, man. Maybe they give him some guidelines, for like, what he can and can't do with two strikes. Yeah! And they fine his ass if he ignores them. That'll work. Don't let the guy think for himself, that's for sure."
• The Middle-Order-Bat-Fixes-Everything Concept - "You know what they need to do, man? They need to hit Vladdy after Reynolds, cause Vlad don't need no pitches to hit, man. Nah, he swings at whatever, and still htis .320. With Vladdy hitting behind him, Reynolds is gonna see tons of strikes, dude. He's gonna gets lots balls to hit. And if he gets lots of balls to hit, he's gonna hit tons of homers. And if you hit Luke after Vladdy, he'll still have a guy on base in front of him all the time, you know? So lots of RBIs for him. I don't know why managers don't see this stuff, bro..."
• The Down-Cycle Manic Depressive - "Yeah, Reynolds has power, but he's never gonna hit here, man...nobody does. We get all these guys that come in here trying to re-establish themselves, and they never hit. You know he hit below .200 last year? yeah, can't see that changin'. He just doesn't put enough balls in play to hit for an average. They bring these guys in, every year, and all the other teams spend really money on free-agents, and all we end up with are different versions of Garrett Atkins. Reynolds is worse than Atkins, though, man, because he cant play defense either. They'll prob'ly end up moving him to first, cause he's gonna hurt them bad over there at the hot corner. That will be the problem for all these young pitchers - we just don't have enough defense. But the offense sucks too. I'll watch them, but it's gonna suck, man. Same old Orioles..."

I could go on like this forever, but I won't. Because here's what I think - Reynolds might suck and he might not, but I'm betting he hits the ever-living crap out of at least a couple of balls every week. He'll be incredibly interesting and frustrating to watch, all at the same time - I hear that from anyone who's ever seen him play regularly. He's not a great defender so he will definitely suck there some of the time, but that's fine, because it's not like he's playing shortstop. I just want him in the middle of the order.

One way or another, he'll be fun. I can't ask for anything else. But yes, it would be nice if he hit 50 bombs. I'd settle for 30.